Last weekend, our family went over to a neighbor’s house for some afternoon play. My five-year-old came tearing around the corner with a toy gun in his hand making blasting noises. I quickly walked over to him and took the gun away.
“Honey, what are our family rules about guns when we are at a friend’s house?” I asked him.
“Always ask an adult before I play with a toy gun,” he recited, looking a little sheepish.
“That’s right. Did you ask me or your dad about playing with this gun?”
“No. Sorry, Mom,” he said.
“Playing with guns is a big responsibility. Let’s remember next time. Who is playing with you?”
We went on to discuss who was engaged in the blasting game and who wasn’t and set clear expectations that the people who did not want to play would be fully left alone. I reminded him that he is never to point at someone who isn’t part of the game. He agreed and ran off with his friend to continue playing.
Sometimes I think I go overboard with the rules we have around guns in our house. We always ask if parents keep guns in the home. No toy guns of any kind are allowed in our house. We have strict rules about obtaining consent if an inanimate object gets transformed into a gun (i.e. sticks, legos). As detailed above, we have strict rules about how we approach toy guns at friends’ houses, which has been adapted over time.
At first, I tried to say our kids could not play with guns, period, no matter if we were at a friend’s house or not, but that proved to be really difficult. So for now, we ask that they request permission prior to playing with a toy gun and follow our rules of consent. Obviously, it’s still a work in progress.
Yesterday, another mass shooting of children happened, the 18th school shooting of 2018. I know my rules around guns will never be enough to keep my kids safe. It is a sick and terrifying realization. Regardless, this morning I spoke to both my 5 and 3-year-old about the fact that kids were hurt by another kid with a gun.
My 3-year-old put her hand on my cheek and asked, “why would a kid hurt another kid? That’s not good!” I hugged her and admitted I didn’t know. I told them how sad I was, and reminded them this is why we don’t like guns and why our family rules are so important.
“What do you do if you see a gun?” I asked them.
“Run and tell an adult!” they chanted back.
“And you NEVER touch it!” my 5-year-old added.
“Yes,” I said. “Guns are serious business and need to be treated as such.”
Unfortunately, this image sums up America’s relationship with gun violence.
We don’t have to live like this. I refuse to live like this.
Folks who know me know that I breed hope through action. If you live in Atlanta and are able, join me next Wednesday, february 21st at the Georgia Capitol to demand common sense gun control with Moms Demand Action.
I was also reminded that here in Georgia, we have the opportunity to elect representatives who will pass common sense gun legislation and unseat those who refuse. The primaries are on May 22 and the general election is on November 6th.
We must fight for gun control. For our children. For each other. How will you demand common sense gun control happens in our communities? Share your plans below.
A Striving Parent 
I am heartened that you want to do something about gun violence, especially in schools. The fact you stated about 18 school shootings is very, very misleading by the group that put it out. Please research. Also, you admit to not knowing anything about guns but do know the cure to this violence. I have a question for you. When you are driving your car down the street and see the person you dislike vehemently, do you gun the gas and run him or her over? I would hopefully think not. Your weapon weighs about a ton and a half and can do more carnage than a gun. The reason you would not is that you are mentally stable. Mental illness is what we have to do something about, even modify HIPPA to somehow be involved in this issue.
It would be nice if you would research the lives of these shooters preceding the shootings and I think you might find similar family lives. I also wonder why the killings in Chicago (and other inner cities) are ignored. In 2016 there were 3,550 shootings with 4,331 victims and 762 killed who were mostly black and in their teens. Another startling figure is 40,200 deaths in car accidents in 2016. Do you still drive a car? Another fact, there are about 300,000,000 registered cars in the U.S. and about 300,000,000 registered guns in the U.S.
A good research for you would be how many shooters were NRA members and how many lives were saved by NRA members. Here is a link to blog by a Canadian friend about mental illness and guns violence. http://www.galganov.com/editorials.asp?id=2421#.WogVWExFymQ
Remember, always research deeply for unintended consequences because all actions cause an equal and opposite reaction.
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Tom, one shooting should be should be more than enough for our country to demand change. Mental illness care is an issue, but don’t distract from demanding common sense gun control. It’s worked in other countries yet we continue to behave as if there isn’t a real solution before us. There is and the nra can’t block us from keeping our children safe any more. People over profits. Children over profits.
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I agree that you have the right to raise your child as you see fit. However, that being said, You Must educate your children about real guns. You do not know what other people have in their homes where your child may visit.
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I agree, which is why I always ask parents if they keep guns in their home and if so how they are stored. We do talk to our kids about what they do if they see a gun, which is to never touch it and to go and tell an adult immediately.
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I heard the same thing that your mom mentioned; that if kids were truly into gunplay, they’ll find a way to substitute toy guns anyway.
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Yes! We see this everyday. But it doesn’t change the conversations and boundaries we set around when he uses a stick as a weapon.
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